


Lessons in Morning Etiquette

by bilbobagginshield



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Smeagol is a cat, a grumpy cat, cavity inducing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilbobagginshield/pseuds/bilbobagginshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin's partner, Bilbo, has recently moved in to Thorin's place with his grumpy Sphynx cat in tow. The littlest occupant of the apartment has yet to learn that it's bad form to leave gifts of dead things on the kitchen floor in the mornings.</p><p>A syrupy sweet, fluffy ficlet based on a sentence starter prompt from tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons in Morning Etiquette

“You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”

Two yellow eyes stared up at him without an ounce of remorse.

Thorin leaned his hip against the marble counter with a sigh. He let the warmth from his coffee mug sink into his skin for a moment before continuing.

“Listen, I know this is a fairly new place for you, but you’ve been here long enough to know the rules. No dead things in the kitchen.”

The cat continued to gaze at Thorin, thoroughly unimpressed. Thorin huffed out a breath through his nose and bowed his head in acknowledgement.

“Okay, yes we bring dead animals in here. But that’s different, those are for cooking and _not for batting around the floor, Smeagol_!”

The sphynx paused with a paw hovering over the body of the poor, deceased rodent, his skinny tail flicking back and forth across the floor tiles. Thorin narrowed his eyes.

“Imagine if Bilbo came out here right now and saw this.” Thorin noted with great satisfaction that at his words the cat slowly withdrew his paw.

“He would be very disappointed. This is the second time this week.”

Smeagol looked away from Thorin and let out a low mrowl. Appeased, Thorin put his mug on the counter and stepped over to give the cat a scratch behind his wrinkly ear.

“See, you’re a good cat,” Thorin cooed, rubbing under Smeagol’s chin with his forefinger. The cat’s eyes closed in delight, if his warbly purrs were anything to go by. “No, we don’t want to disappoint our lovely Bilbo at all. Now let’s just clean this up before he wakes.”

Both man and cat were startled out of their peace by a poorly stifled laugh from across the room. Thorin jumped and turned to see Bilbo, hair mussed and clothes rumpled from bed, standing in the archway of the kitchen. He looked thoroughly amused. Thorin ran his hand through his hair and glanced sheepishly over at Bilbo.

“How, uh—how long were you standing there?”

“Long enough,” was his simple reply. The quirk of his lips said enough.

Thorin hummed lowly in embarrassment and looked over at the cat, who by now had completely lost interest in the conversation before him and was meticulously cleaning his paws.

“How long have you been having these morning conversations with my cat?”

Thorin felt his face heat up.

“Not very often. But he’s surprisingly decent company, for a grouch.”

“Seems like I have a knack for picking the agreeable grouches.”

Thorin whipped his head around, but his indignant words died on his tongue when he saw Bilbo had in the meanwhile snuck over to the counter to steal his coffee. The mug hid Bilbo’s mouth, but Thorin could see the cheeky smile in his partner’s eyes. Thorin was on him immediately.

“Now see here, that’s _my_ coffee,” Thorin sternly told Bilbo’s neck before nuzzling his nose into the soft skin before him. Bilbo let out a shocked cry, more laughter than anything, and tried escape the ticklish confines of Thorin’s arms to no avail.

“Mercy, Thorin, Mercy!”

Thorin relented and hugged the still chuckling Bilbo closer to his chest. He nosed his way up Bilbo’s jaw to plant a tender kiss at the corner of his partner’s mouth.

Bilbo carded his hands through Thorin’s beard, drawing him back down for a proper kiss. He ended the kiss with a happy hum and drew away just enough to bump his nose gently against Thorin’s.

“Okay, but really. Get that dead thing out of our kitchen.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse the title.
> 
> But yeah, I reblogged a sentence starter meme and a lovely anon requested the starter “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.” And I'm weak to Thorin with cats so.
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr!](http://bilbosoaktree.tumblr.com)


End file.
